Faith Steed Howarth

[How mom got her last two children]

When my two boys were old enough to be in school, the youngest one was just in kindergarten, I was alone one morning in the house, or course, and I didn't feel at all well. So, I thought well, I'll just take it easy. It's just one of those things. I layed down an the sofa. I began to be feeling really ill and things started to happen that made me think that I'd better do something about it. I began to hemorrhage and I got scared because it was very severe. I thought, how can I get help? The only person I could think of the in whole world was my husband. So, I called him on the phone. I said about three words. I guess he got the idea I was not well and I ran to the bathroom. Of course, that's all I can tell you because I passed out. I lay across the door of the bathroom. Like most bathroom doors, it opened in and he must have had a really tough time getting me out of there. That didn't bother me the least bit. When I woke up, I was nice and clean, in bed and the doctor was there. He and my husband were leaning over the looking at me. I didn't feel too badly.

They'd watch me a little bit. Then they'd go out in the kitchen and talk. Then they'd come back and they'd watch me a little bit. They had just gone in to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital, but, I absolutely refused. I said, "1'm not going to the hospital. I'm staying home. I'm perfectly all right." So then the doctor came in alone and he said - we were very good friends. This doctor was a friend as well as a doctor. He was a good friend of my husband's. Of course, I got acquainted with him because he became my doctor.

I have always been grateful for this great blessing [the births of David and Pamela]. It wasn't my fault, you see. It isn't as if I had done a thing, you see, lots of women in those days were trying to avoid having babies. I think that's what he thought maybe I had done. He said he'd like to have seen it, mercy, it was all in there on the floor. I guess Al had cleaned it up before he came. I don't think there was anything much, 'cause I thought it was just a period, you know. You always feel rotten. I didn't pay any attention to it. Anyhow, it always has amused me, “Can't you be satisfied with two boys?” [laughs]

He said, "Now that this has happened, I wish I understood it better." He didn't see what happened. He said, "1 think it would be wise if you didn't have anymore children. I knew exactly what he meant. I put my hand up like this and I said, "No, no." I said, "1 will not." I said, "1 know there are two more children." He looked at me and the most disgusted look on the man's face I ever saw and he said, "Can't you be satisfied with two boys?" This dear man had two daughters, but no sons and he really wanted sons. I said, "No." He said, "All right." I would laugh - he didn't. He said, "All right, when you feel better, come down and I'll see what I can do." I went to him for two and onehalf years every two weeks. He really built me up until I was in very good health.

Then, I got pregnant. I was very happy about it. But, very shortly in the last months or so before the birth of this baby - I had a very wonderful thing happen to me. I was dreaming. I was asleep. But, I held this newborn baby in my arms. You know how a mother looks at her first - the first time she sees her newborn. I was so happy. I was just so filled with joy. But, when my baby was born, and he was put in my arms and I looked into his little face, it was the very child. The very child and I had looked carefully, you know, It was the baby I had held in my arms. I have always thought that was the sweetest thing Heavenly Father ever did for me - letting me see the child before. Because it was eight years before I had another child.

Then years went on, I didn't have another child. My mother was dying down in Arizona where she was a Temple Worker. When we heard of it, of course, we went down and saw her in the hospital. My husband took my sister with us - Lucy went with us. We were standing in the room. She was not suffering. She was on medication. She would talk to us for a little bit and then she would doze a little bit. Of course, we just kinda stood around. But, when she saw me - as soon as she looked up at me, she said, "Oh, I knew you would come."

She would say little short things like that. One time, she said, in the saddest voice I've ever heard my mother use, "Faith does not have a daughter." It was the first time I ever felt bad about it. Within the year, Pamela was born. That's how I got my help with my two last children.