Faith Steed Howarth

[Mom's problems having children]

There's one other thing I want to tell you. It's about you. You see, 1 had the two babies. I didn't ever get pregnant again. I was alone one day. I felt really ill. The boys were old enough to be in school. The youngest could have been no more than six, see, or something like that. I thought I'll lay done, I'll just rest. I got worse and worse. I got scared. I began to hemorrhage. You know, I didn't have a friend I could call on there in that [neighborhood] so I call my husband. I didn't have anything else to do and ran for the bathroom. That's all I know, see. Cause I passed out in the bathroom and you know how that door closes - I fell across the door.

Imagine that poor man when he got home. Hunting for me and finding me. I don't know what happened at all. When I came to, I was laying in the bed. I was all cleaned up, I wasn't bloody, not a bit. The doctor was there. The doctor and Alvin were there. They'd come and talk to me and then they'd go out in the kitchen and talk. Then they'd come back in and talk to me. Finally the doctor came alone, and he said to me, "Now you have two children, and now that this has happened." "And," he said, "1 don't quite understand it." I don't either, but I hemorrhaged dreadfully. I thought, you see, when the blood came it was just starting the old monthly's, you know. He said, "You shouldn't have any more children." He got that far and I put my hand up like that and I said, "No. no." I knew what he meant. "Na, I won't," I said. I know that there are two more children coming and he looked at me and he said, (and if you could have seen his face), it-was - he said, "Can't you be satisfied with two boys?" He had two girls and he wanted a boy so bad, he hurt. I said, "No, I cannot." He said, "Well, alright, when you feel better, come down and we'll see what we can do." For two years, I went to him every two weeks and he really got me in good physical condition. I'll never forget that dear man's face. You know, he died soon. Honestly, things like that that happen. Then, you see, it was eight years before I was pregnant with you [David].

I was sleeping one morning. I dreamed that I held a baby in my arms. I looked over every little feature just like you do when a baby is born. It was you. I know you are something special. I always have known. And, you see, in order to get Pam, mother had to wish it for me. I never would have gotten her if she hadn't. “Faith doesn't have a daughter,”, she said. Then, a little over nine months later, well, within a year, I had her. Both of you were easier births [ ... ] than the first two boys. I have an awfully long, hard birth. I guess I'm very tense. I'm a very tense person. Anyhow, I did. While it was not fun or anything like that, of course one thing, you weren't as big. Wayne was big, he weighed eight pounds. I just count those as great blessings. Where would I be without that darling girl [Pam] now?