A NORTHERN EXPOSURE VALENTINE: TO THE BETTER END

 

                            

         FADE IN:

        

         EXT. FOREST - NIGHT

          

         We HEAR the music, Artie Shaw’s “Nightmare.”  The

         CAMERA PANS a surreal looking forest; the trees have

         clock faces and long pendulums which keep time to the          music.

 

         MAGGIE’S POV - AN ENGLISH STYLE BABY CARRIAGE

 

         MAGGIE is chasing the carriage through the forest.

 

                             DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

         INT.  MAGGIE’S BEDROOM - MORNING - ANGLE ON MAGGIE

 

         MAGGIE bolts upright from a sleeping position.  She looks

         at her clock radio which reads 7:00 and falls back on her          bed.

 

                            MAGGIE

                  Oh no!  Not again.

 

         TITLES BEGIN

 

         INT. KBHR RADIO STUDIO - MORNING - ANGLE ON CHRIS

 

         CHRIS is sitting at the microphone with a copy of Freud’s

         Interpretation of Dreams.

 

                            CHRIS

                  Good morning Cicelians and thank you                         Artie Shaw for that rendition of

                  Nightmare. I trust that everyone slept

                  well last night. How do you feel about

                  dreams? Do they represent, as Freud

                  suggested, wish fulfillment of the

                  individual’s unconscious, or do you take                    the Jungian view that dreams are

                  archetypes which result from the

                  collective unconscious?  Or are dreams

                  the result of neurons randomly firing?

         (sips some coffee)

                  It is Thursday, January twenty-ninth,

                  Nineteen ninety-eight, a few

                  minutes after seven o’clock.

                            (MORE)   

                            

                            CHRIS (CONT’D)

                  This is Chris in the morning with

                  announcements from the KBHR Cicely

                   Community Calendar.  Our first item is

                  today’s baby shower for Doc and Mrs.

                  Capra to be hosted by Shelly and Holling.

                  Bring those booties, blankets, and

                  bottles to the Brick at four PM.  Herbal

                  Tea will be served.                                (beat)

                  Our next announcement, highlighting the

                  social         season of the Borough of Arrowhead                             County, is the greatly anticipated

                  marriage of Maurice Minnifield and

                  Sergeant Barbara Semanski this Sunday,

                  February first at eleven in the morning.

                   (sips coffee)

                  For those of you who may not be fully

                  informed of the progress of the

                  Minnifield dash Semanski nuptials, it

                  began roughly four years ago when the

                  boss first popped the question to the

                  lady in blue.  Since that time, she has

                  been stricken with two severe attacks of

                  popsicle toes as the invitations were

                  being printed; let’s hope that third

                  time will be the charm.  Special guests                      include Maurice’s extended family from

                  Korea and Barbara’s twin sister Debbie.

                  Adam will be catering the luncheon and

                  Cal will provide music during the

                  ceremony with yours truly officiating.

                            

                             DISSOLVE TO:

                            

         INT. THE BRICK - MORNING - CAMERA PANS THE CUSTOMERS AT

         THE BAR

         

         HOLLING is pouring coffee while MAURICE and others are          sitting at the bar, eating breakfast and listening to the          VOICE OVER from CHRIS on the radio.

                            

                            CHRIS (V.O.)

                  I’ve been thinking about a gift for

                  the happy couple and, well, let’s face

                  it, what can I give to Maurice and

                  Barbara?  So, dear listeners, if         you

                  will bear with me, I will be, starting

                  tomorrow, devoting the next three days

                  to continuous programming of show tunes

                  from the Broadway stage to the silver

                  screen.

         

        

         The CAMERA ZOOMS to MAURICE who smiles broadly while          other patrons in the Brick groan.

 

                             DISSOLVE TO:

 

         INT. KBHR STUDIO - MORNING - ANGLE ON CHRIS

                                                                    CHRIS

                  The wedding preparations have given me

                  a chance to review the thoughts of other

                  great thinkers on love and marriage.

                  Plato remarked, “At the touch of love

                  everyone becomes a poet.”  Sammy         Cahn

                  said “Love and marriage, love and

                  marriage, go together like a horse and

                  carriage.” Elizabeth Barrett Browning

                  wrote, “How do I love thee? Let me count

                  the ways.”  Christopher Marlowe penned

                  “Come live with me and be my love, And we

                  will all the pleasures prove. . .” Of

                  course Shakespeare had quite a bit to say

                  about love; don’t get him started. And

                  while  we’re on the subject, Maggie, this

                  one’s for you.

 

         CHRIS inserts a cassette into the radio console.  We

         HEAR the song, “Wedding Bell Blues” as sung by Laura Nyro.

                   

                             DISSOLVE TO:

        

         INT. THE CAPRA’S CABIN - MORNING - CAMERA PANS THE          BREAKFAST TABLE

 

         PHIL, WERNER AND ELLIE THOMPSON are seated at the table;         MICHELLE, visibly pregnant, is serving cinnamon rolls. We          continue to HEAR  “Wedding Bell Blues.”  ANGLE on          MICHELLE.

 

                            MICHELLE

                  Werner, Ellie, cinnamon rolls?

                  

                            ELLIE

                  These look wonderful.

                   (She takes one.)

 

                            MICHELLE

                  Well Phil, what do you think?  Sounds

                  like a wedding proposal to me.  Maggie

                  hasn’t said a word to me about this.

 

         

 

                            PHIL

                  I don’t know Michelle.  Chris hasn’t said

                  anything to me either. Still, they’ve been

                  a couple just about as long as we’ve been

                  here. 

 

                            WERNER

                  That’s almost five years isn’t it?

 

                   

                             DISSOLVE TO:

                    

 

         EXT. CICELY AIR STRIP - LATE MORNING -  ANGLE ON BARBARA

         AND MAURICE  

 

         MAURICE and BARBARA are watching as MAGGIE lands her          plane.  MAURICE’S relatives disembark. 

 

                            MAURICE

                  Welcome to Cicely.  Barbara, I would like

                  you to meet my son, Duk Won and his wife

                  Soon Ae; This is Duk Won’s son, Bon Joo

                  and who do we have here?

 

                            BON JOO

                  Grandfather, I wish to introduce you to

                  my wife, Cha Rim, and our son, Maurice.

                                                           MAURICE

                  Did you hear that, Barbara, his name is

                  Maurice!

 

                           BARBARA

                  I am very pleased to meet all of you. 

 

                            DUK WON

                  And I am very pleased to meet you

                  Ms. Semanski.

 

                            MAURICE

                  Duk Won, you’re speaking English!

                   

                            DUK WON

                  Yes father.  Soon Ae and I decided to take            lessons; we wanted to understand your

                  wedding.

                   

                            MAURICE

                  Barbara and I are invited to a baby

                  shower this afternoon.  I would be

                            (MORE)

                            MAURICE (CONT’D)

                  delighted if you came, too. Okay, let’s

                  get this show on the road; everyone                    into the Suburban!

                  (to MAGGIE)

                  Thanks Maggie for bringing my family home                        safely.

 

         MAURICE, BARBARA and his KOREAN FAMILY begin filling

         the Suburban.

                            

                             DISSOLVE TO:

 

         INT. THE BRICK - NOON - CAMERA PANS THE LUNCH CROWD          SITTING AT THE BAR

 

         MAGGIE is seated at the bar. SHELLY, eight months          pregnant, is working behind the bar, approaches MAGGIE          with a coffee pot. RUTH-ANNE is sitting next to MAGGIE.          There is an empty stool on the other side of MAGGIE.

         We HEAR the radio playing “This Time the Dream is on Me.”         ANGLE on SHELLY.                                                                                  SHELLY

                  Hi Maggie. What can I get you for lunch?

                                                                    MAGGIE

                  A cup of coffee, the hard stuff, would

                  be just fine, and a tuna salad sandwich on

                  wheat.

 

                            SHELLY

                  Coming right up.

                   (pours coffee.)

                  So, Maggie, have you given Chris your

                  answer.

                                                           MAGGIE

                  To what? 

 

                            SHELLY

                  Didn’t you hear Chris this morning on the

                  radio?         He practically asked you to marry

                  him.  First he talks about love and then

                  reads poetry and then dedicates The

                  “Wedding Bell Blues” to you. Sure sounded

                  like a proposal to me. What did you                         think, Ruth-Anne?

 

                            RUTH-ANNE

                  Maggie, I think Shelly is right; although

                  I preferred the Fifth Dimension’s version                               (MORE)

                            RUTH-ANNE (CONT’D)

                  better. Have you seen my first great

                  grandchild’s baby pictures?

           

         RUTH-ANNE hands the pictures to MAGGIE. She looks at the          photographs.

                            

                            MAGGIE

                  Oh, that.

                                                           SHELLY

                  Yes, that.  So, what are you going to

                  tell him?

 

                            MAGGIE                       I don’t know. I have to think about it.

 

                            SHELLY

                  Well, think fast; here he comes.

 

         RUTH-ANNE leaves. CHRIS returns to his seat on the other          side of MAGGIE.

                   

                            SHELLY

                  Can I get you anything else?

                            

                            CHRIS

                  No, Shelly, I’m full.

 

         SHELLY clears his plate and returns to the kitchen. ANGLE          on  CHRIS and MAGGIE.

         

                            CHRIS (CONT’D)          

                   (to MAGGIE)

                  About this morning, I’m sorry, I should

                  have spoken to you privately. Sometimes

                  when I’m working, I imagine that I’m

                  talking just to you.

 

                            MAGGIE

                  Chris ... I don’t know what to say.  I’ve

                  been so content these past few years

                  with things just the way they are, I

                  hadn’t thought about taking the

                  relationship any further. Marriage is a

                  very big step and, oh, I don’t know. 

 

                            CHRIS

                  Is it the O’Connell curse?  Are you

                  afraid that something might happen to me

                  once we made a commitment and lived under

                  the same roof?

 

                            MAGGIE

                  Do you believe that nonsense? There is no

                  such thing as a curse.  Everything occurs

                  as a matter of probability.  My having a                    relationship with Rick and the others was

                  purely a coincidence. Besides, even if

                  there is such as thing as a curse, I

                  cured Mike Monroe and, as far as I know,

                  Fleishman is still living.

                             

                            CHRIS

                  I don’t want to pressure you.  Let’s take

                  it nice and easy.

 

         CHRIS gets up from the stool.            

 

                            MAGGIE

                  Chris, this is so sudden and it’s such a                      surprise, can you give me some time?

 

                            CHRIS

                  I’m not going anywhere.

 

         CHRIS exits The Brick and SHELLY rushes back to MAGGIE.

         SHELLY returns from the kitchen with MAGGIE’S sandwich.

                                      

                            SHELLY

                  So Maggie, what happened?  Have you set a

                  date?         Can I do your wedding shower? 

 

                            MAGGIE

                  When I came in here today, it was for a

                  cup of coffee and a sandwich.  Now I am

                  facing the biggest decision of my life

                  and I want it to be right.

                   (beat)

                  Did I ever tell you about the dream I had

                  after         Rick died?  Well, in the dream, I

                  met Rick at the Grosse Point Country Club

                  which was substituting for heaven.  He                           told me that he had met all of my

                  deceased boyfriends and thought that

                  I would be better off with someone more

                  stable, like Fleishman.

         

                            SHELLY

                  I have really tried to hang with Barbara,

                  but I just don’t get that chick.  Here it

                  is the biggest day of her life, getting

                  hitched to Maurice and she wouldn’t let

                  me do her wedding shower.

                    

                   

                            MAGGIE

                  Maybe I should have married him; but he

                  wouldn’t have been happy staying in

                  Cicely         and I couldn’t live in New York.

 

                            SHELLY

                  Do you know what she said?

 

                            MAGGIE

                  It’s been over four years since he left

                  and it probably was for the best, but I

                  still feel badly about how we ended;

                  there was so much emotional energy

                  invested in that relationship.

                                      

                            SHELLY

                  She said that a wedding shower for her

                  and Maurice was superfluous.  So I

                  suggested a personal shower, you know,

                  undies and lacy nighties and she said    

                  that was just plain silly. She asked me

                  to be her bridesmaid and so far, I’ve

                  done diddly.