A NORTHERN EXPOSURE VALENTINE: TO THE BETTER END

FADE IN:

EXT. FOREST - NIGHT

We HEAR the music, Artie Shaw’s “Nightmare.” The

CAMERA PANS a surreal looking forest; the trees have

clock faces and long pendulums which keep time to the music.

MAGGIE’S POV - AN ENGLISH STYLE BABY CARRIAGE

MAGGIE is chasing the carriage through the forest.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. MAGGIE’S BEDROOM - MORNING - ANGLE ON MAGGIE

MAGGIE bolts upright from a sleeping position. She looks

at her clock radio which reads 7:00 and falls back on her bed.

MAGGIE

Oh no! Not again.

TITLES BEGIN

INT. KBHR RADIO STUDIO - MORNING - ANGLE ON CHRIS

CHRIS is sitting at the microphone with a copy of Freud’s

Interpretation of Dreams.

CHRIS

Good morning Cicelians and thank you Artie Shaw for that rendition of

Nightmare. I trust that everyone slept

well last night. How do you feel about

dreams? Do they represent, as Freud

suggested, wish fulfillment of the

individual’s unconscious, or do you take the Jungian view that dreams are

archetypes which result from the

collective unconscious? Or are dreams

the result of neurons randomly firing?

(sips some coffee)

It is Thursday, January twenty-ninth,

Nineteen ninety-eight, a few

minutes after seven o’clock.

(MORE)

CHRIS (CONT’D)

This is Chris in the morning with

announcements from the KBHR Cicely

Community Calendar. Our first item is

today’s baby shower for Doc and Mrs.

Capra to be hosted by Shelly and Holling.

Bring those booties, blankets, and

bottles to the Brick at four PM. Herbal

Tea will be served. (beat)

Our next announcement, highlighting the

social season of the Borough of Arrowhead County, is the greatly anticipated

marriage of Maurice Minnifield and

Sergeant Barbara Semanski this Sunday,

February first at eleven in the morning.

(sips coffee)

For those of you who may not be fully

informed of the progress of the

Minnifield dash Semanski nuptials, it

began roughly four years ago when the

boss first popped the question to the

lady in blue. Since that time, she has

been stricken with two severe attacks of

popsicle toes as the invitations were

being printed; let’s hope that third

time will be the charm. Special guests include Maurice’s extended family from

Korea and Barbara’s twin sister Debbie.

Adam will be catering the luncheon and

Cal will provide music during the

ceremony with yours truly officiating.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. THE BRICK - MORNING - CAMERA PANS THE CUSTOMERS AT

THE BAR

HOLLING is pouring coffee while MAURICE and others are sitting at the bar, eating breakfast and listening to the VOICE OVER from CHRIS on the radio.

CHRIS (V.O.)

I’ve been thinking about a gift for

the happy couple and, well, let’s face

it, what can I give to Maurice and

Barbara? So, dear listeners, if you

will bear with me, I will be, starting

tomorrow, devoting the next three days

to continuous programming of show tunes

from the Broadway stage to the silver

screen.

The CAMERA ZOOMS to MAURICE who smiles broadly while other patrons in the Brick groan.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. KBHR STUDIO - MORNING - ANGLE ON CHRIS

CHRIS

The wedding preparations have given me

a chance to review the thoughts of other

great thinkers on love and marriage.

Plato remarked, “At the touch of love

everyone becomes a poet.” Sammy Cahn

said “Love and marriage, love and

marriage, go together like a horse and

carriage.” Elizabeth Barrett Browning

wrote, “How do I love thee? Let me count

the ways.” Christopher Marlowe penned

“Come live with me and be my love, And we

will all the pleasures prove. . .” Of

course Shakespeare had quite a bit to say

about love; don’t get him started. And

while we’re on the subject, Maggie, this

one’s for you.

CHRIS inserts a cassette into the radio console. We

HEAR the song, “Wedding Bell Blues” as sung by Laura Nyro.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. THE CAPRA’S CABIN - MORNING - CAMERA PANS THE BREAKFAST TABLE

PHIL, WERNER AND ELLIE THOMPSON are seated at the table; MICHELLE, visibly pregnant, is serving cinnamon rolls. We continue to HEAR “Wedding Bell Blues.” ANGLE on MICHELLE.

MICHELLE

Werner, Ellie, cinnamon rolls?

ELLIE

These look wonderful.

(She takes one.)

MICHELLE

Well Phil, what do you think? Sounds

like a wedding proposal to me. Maggie

hasn’t said a word to me about this.

PHIL

I don’t know Michelle. Chris hasn’t said

anything to me either. Still, they’ve been

a couple just about as long as we’ve been

here.

WERNER

That’s almost five years isn’t it?

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CICELY AIR STRIP - LATE MORNING - ANGLE ON BARBARA

AND MAURICE

MAURICE and BARBARA are watching as MAGGIE lands her plane. MAURICE’S relatives disembark.

MAURICE

Welcome to Cicely. Barbara, I would like

you to meet my son, Duk Won and his wife

Soon Ae; This is Duk Won’s son, Bon Joo

and who do we have here?

BON JOO

Grandfather, I wish to introduce you to

my wife, Cha Rim, and our son, Maurice.

MAURICE

Did you hear that, Barbara, his name is

Maurice!

BARBARA

I am very pleased to meet all of you.

DUK WON

And I am very pleased to meet you

Ms. Semanski.

MAURICE

Duk Won, you’re speaking English!

DUK WON

Yes father. Soon Ae and I decided to take lessons; we wanted to understand your

wedding.

MAURICE

Barbara and I are invited to a baby

shower this afternoon. I would be

(MORE)

MAURICE (CONT’D)

delighted if you came, too. Okay, let’s

get this show on the road; everyone into the Suburban!

(to MAGGIE)

Thanks Maggie for bringing my family home safely.

MAURICE, BARBARA and his KOREAN FAMILY begin filling

the Suburban.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. THE BRICK - NOON - CAMERA PANS THE LUNCH CROWD SITTING AT THE BAR

MAGGIE is seated at the bar. SHELLY, eight months pregnant, is working behind the bar, approaches MAGGIE with a coffee pot. RUTH-ANNE is sitting next to MAGGIE. There is an empty stool on the other side of MAGGIE.

We HEAR the radio playing “This Time the Dream is on Me.” ANGLE on SHELLY. SHELLY

Hi Maggie. What can I get you for lunch?

MAGGIE

A cup of coffee, the hard stuff, would

be just fine, and a tuna salad sandwich on

wheat.

SHELLY

Coming right up.

(pours coffee.)

So, Maggie, have you given Chris your

answer.

MAGGIE

To what?

SHELLY

Didn’t you hear Chris this morning on the

radio? He practically asked you to marry

him. First he talks about love and then

reads poetry and then dedicates The

“Wedding Bell Blues” to you. Sure sounded

like a proposal to me. What did you think, Ruth-Anne?

RUTH-ANNE

Maggie, I think Shelly is right; although

I preferred the Fifth Dimension’s version (MORE)

RUTH-ANNE (CONT’D)

better. Have you seen my first great

grandchild’s baby pictures?

RUTH-ANNE hands the pictures to MAGGIE. She looks at the photographs.

MAGGIE

Oh, that.

SHELLY

Yes, that. So, what are you going to

tell him?

MAGGIE I don’t know. I have to think about it.

SHELLY

Well, think fast; here he comes.

RUTH-ANNE leaves. CHRIS returns to his seat on the other side of MAGGIE.

SHELLY

Can I get you anything else?

CHRIS

No, Shelly, I’m full.

SHELLY clears his plate and returns to the kitchen. ANGLE on CHRIS and MAGGIE.

CHRIS (CONT’D)

(to MAGGIE)

About this morning, I’m sorry, I should

have spoken to you privately. Sometimes

when I’m working, I imagine that I’m

talking just to you.

MAGGIE

Chris ... I don’t know what to say. I’ve

been so content these past few years

with things just the way they are, I

hadn’t thought about taking the

relationship any further. Marriage is a

very big step and, oh, I don’t know.

CHRIS

Is it the O’Connell curse? Are you

afraid that something might happen to me

once we made a commitment and lived under

the same roof?

MAGGIE

Do you believe that nonsense? There is no

such thing as a curse. Everything occurs

as a matter of probability. My having a relationship with Rick and the others was

purely a coincidence. Besides, even if

there is such as thing as a curse, I

cured Mike Monroe and, as far as I know,

Fleishman is still living.

CHRIS

I don’t want to pressure you. Let’s take

it nice and easy.

CHRIS gets up from the stool.

MAGGIE

Chris, this is so sudden and it’s such a surprise, can you give me some time?

CHRIS

I’m not going anywhere.

CHRIS exits The Brick and SHELLY rushes back to MAGGIE.

SHELLY returns from the kitchen with MAGGIE’S sandwich.

SHELLY

So Maggie, what happened? Have you set a

date? Can I do your wedding shower?

MAGGIE

When I came in here today, it was for a

cup of coffee and a sandwich. Now I am

facing the biggest decision of my life

and I want it to be right.

(beat)

Did I ever tell you about the dream I had

after Rick died? Well, in the dream, I

met Rick at the Grosse Point Country Club

which was substituting for heaven. He told me that he had met all of my

deceased boyfriends and thought that

I would be better off with someone more

stable, like Fleishman.

SHELLY

I have really tried to hang with Barbara,

but I just don’t get that chick. Here it

is the biggest day of her life, getting

hitched to Maurice and she wouldn’t let

me do her wedding shower.

MAGGIE

Maybe I should have married him; but he

wouldn’t have been happy staying in

Cicely and I couldn’t live in New York.

SHELLY

Do you know what she said?

MAGGIE

It’s been over four years since he left

and it probably was for the best, but I

still feel badly about how we ended;

there was so much emotional energy

invested in that relationship.

SHELLY

She said that a wedding shower for her

and Maurice was superfluous. So I

suggested a personal shower, you know,

undies and lacy nighties and she said

that was just plain silly. She asked me

to be her bridesmaid and so far, I’ve

done diddly.