GURC
InterVarsity
Seen in a news report during Buster Nights 2...
News just in!
Scandal at City Hall
The foundations of the city have been rocking today as it emerged
that our hitherto brilliant white Mayor is involved with shadowy
underground figures.We here at Protocol Press have obtained a document outlining a comprehensive contract between our Mayor and the notorious criminal, Zapp "The Crap" Rodriguez.
The contract provides conclusive proof that Mayor Pudgimelon will become part of Rodriguez' infamous organisation, "Zapp's Friends", the almost mythical entity who are believed to have controlling intersts (sic) in almost all areas of the City and its environs.
At a press conference earlier today, organised to promote his new policies on the environment, which skeptics are already dubbing "The Air Tax", Mr Pudgimelon seemed surprised by the allegations and was saved further embarrassment when a member of his PR team swooped in and eluded that a statement would be issued after the Mayor had consulted with his legal advisors.
Protocol Press will, as always, bring you the news as and when it happens.
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In other news
Ruka/Red Claw gang war escalates, 24 dead. More?
Explosion at the Relovan Biolabs - Infamous AI blamed. More?
Worker Sims go rogue! 4 dead, 17 injured - Sim Lord Jarrak detained for questioning. More?
Seen later as a letter to the Editor...
I would like to take this opportunity to thank Protocol Press for their excellent article last issue on the involvement of corrupt governing bodies in the recent riots in the city of Boston. I was personally shocked by the gross abuses of power shown by the UN throughout this great tragedy. The so-called Peacekeeping Forces declared GenSys' Development laboratory in Boston's scenic Ward 4 as Eminent Domain, throwing our entire research project into confusion. When our researchers attempted to re-enter the premises to recover important research data and proprietary documents, the UN added insult to monetary injury by issuing restraining orders for my entire staff. I hope that the Protocol Press will continue to pursue this, and other stories, to uncover the high level of corruption threatening all innocent people. While the UN tries to spin-doctor this story as an action against illegal cloning and genetic manipulation research (for which charges there are no substantial evidence), the rest of the world knows the good GenSys has brought to this world: the wonderful GenSys NeoCat, the Stim-o-rette patch, and the George Foremann Grill Master 3000. I hope that everyone can clearly see this incident for what it truly is: an attempt at stealing intellectual property by the UN, sponsored by the notoriously unethical Thalmann industries!
Kosh K95x
Director of Research
GenSys Development Labs, Boston
A later news update...
PP Update Start
Thalmann Industries refused to be drawn into a war of words with biotech giants GenSys today as inter-corporation tensions mounted in the run up to the forth-coming Warcrimes Tribunal in Geneva.
Kosh K95x, Director of Research for Gensys and well known anti-corruption campaigner further outlined his position with a scathing attack, describing TI as "notoriously unethical". No official statement has been released but one TI insider was noted as saying "Mr K95x may be best served accepting counsel on the repercussions of a debate on ethical practices. I would make sure ones own affairs were in order before proceeding". This enigmatic response has prompted a deluge of convuluted (sic) theories to be circulated in the media, none of which impress this reporter enough to deserve the column inches.
Both parties have a vested interest in the outcome of the trial of the latest in a series of disgraced military figureheads to be brought before the all powerful UN Warcrimes Tribunal panel. General Pendergast, whose sabre was stolen this morning from the Tower of London, is to face accusations of contraventions of 32 points of the tri-STAR Convention established in Lagos in 2058.
Gensys, who have very publically insisted that Pendergast is naught but a pawn of worlds richest man, Thalmann, have their own multi-million yen legal team assigned to the case. Thalmann Industries, who countered this bold move by reversing the accusations citing "irrefutable evidence" as the main factor in their robust case also plan to have a full complement of legal representatives present.
PP Update End
News in BriefSteve North scalps 3! More?
Bioplague in Ward 1. Quarantine imposed. More?
Lovebug Rev 8.2 strikes. Sysops baffled. More?
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