I call on everyone to shine the light of laughter
on the endarkened corridors of power,
because there’s definitely something funny going on.
May we wake up laughing and leave laughter in our wake.”
Keys to Transformation
WINNER AWARENESS. Just remember that each of us has been given a special gift -- of Life --
just for entering. So, you are already a winner!
HOOT DEVELOPMENT.
Become a FUNdamentalist -- make sure the Fun always comes before
the mental!
Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be cancelled. A laugh track has been
provided, and the reason why we are put here in the material world is to get more material.
Any material in life that we laugh at can be used to fuel our karma. When we add a spark of joy to any painful material
in life, this causes an explosion of mirth – and this bubbling of laughter causes esteem to rise. So turning material
into esteem is what empowers our karma.
Laughter
is a transformational tool that used wisely can bring not just physical healing, but emotional release, mental flexibility,
spiritual perspective and a return of the innocent playfulness that so many of us abandoned when we were tricked into believing
that life is serious.
Laughter
produces endorphins, our body’s natural painkiller. Laughter improves immune function. Hearty laughter is literally
good for the heart, because when we laugh it causes our blood vessels to dilate. And that is certainly better than having
them die early!
Don’t Worry — You’re Already Funny. Instead of trying to be funny, learn
to see funny. Especially learn to see what’s funny about you. Imagine God watching the Comedy Channel, and you are
what’s on.
Follow Swami Beyondananda’s sage advice and become a Divinely
creative plaything. Bring the childlike quality of play back into your life. Run up the down escalator. Dress for Halloween
-- any day the mood hits you. Plant the seeds of harmless fun — wherever you go.
Have a good laughsitive twice a day,
and that will insure regularhilarity.
PRACTICE FOO LING. When you're tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember what
we teach in Swami Beyondananda's Absurdiveness Training class: "Don't get even, get odd." That’s
when you become fooly-aware — when you commit a random act of comedy or quirkiness that contributes to someone else’s
fool-realization — when you add to the laugh force on the planet.
You
too can learn to practice the ancient
art
of Foo Ling!
HELP
THE UNIVERSE TO EXPAND THE FARCE FIELD!
DECAY REMOVAL. It
is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought particles
tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition called truth decay.
So be sure to use mental
floss twice a day.
Also,
I hate to tell you this, but you may be suffering from psychic b.o. (bodhi odor, we call it), because let’s face it,
we smelled in past lives. Some of us really stunk, and that stink is really going to stick. So I strongly recommend bringing
your karma to one of those soft-cloth karma washes for a hose down, especially the underside. The underside of your karma
picks up some pretty foul stuff in the course of a lifetime! A good laughsitive cleanses the system and leaves the mind open
to receive nourishment.
DOGMA TRAINING.
Yes, it's a dogma-eat-dogma world out there, filled with
pit bulls whose bull pits them against other dogmas. And while we might be tempted to raise a stick to these bad dogmas, any
dogma-trainer will tell you that you cannot train a dogma to be loving and obedient by beating it. To win a dogma's heart,
offer it a treat. Say,
"Good dogma. Sit. Roll over ... heal."
Now of course it's sad but true that when a dogma is foaming at the mouth and is clearly rabid,
it must be put down before it infects other innocent creatures. Even the most sentimental dogma-lover understands that.
Can formerly vicious dogmas be trained to sit, stay -- and most importantly, to heal? In other words, can you teach
an old dogma new trick?
So to help us all, I have divided dogmas into two categories:
Angry, unfriendly FundaMENTAList dogmas
Accent
on the mental.
Heaven is above us.
Ours is the One Way.
Laughter is frowned upon.
An eye for an eye.
You stone
people.
and the happier, friendlier FUNdamentalist ones.
Accent on the fun.
Heaven is where you make it.
One Way? Do not enter!
Frowning is laughed upon.
Live
and let live.
People get stoned on their own.
And to help teach those angry dogmas to heal, I am launching a Blisskrieg to
warm the heart of even the most fearful and angry dogma. We begin by kindling the spark of peace in our hearts and turning
it into a bright flame. Then we share this spark of peace to light everyone and everything we come in contact with.
These challenging times
call for Emerge-n-See measures. It’s time for us to emerge from our fearful and powerless hiding places and see the
big picture. We have met the Savior and He is Us. I see all these Children of God praying for Jesus to intervene,
but we cannot expect to be fed intervenously forever. It’s time for Children of God to grow up, for Christ's sake, and
become Adults of God for a change.
Playful adults,
that is."
"Do you know what the leading cause of war and terrorism is?" asks the Swami. “I will tell you. It is seriousness.
Seriousness is the most serious problem we face on the planet today. I'm serious. Think about it. Every terrorist
act -- not to mention terror itself -- begins with seriousness. Everywhere we look, we are faced with laugh-threatening seriousness."
It's a fight to the life! We will light them on the land,
we will light them on the sea, and we will light them in the air! We will even shine the light of love and laughter into their
caves!
And maybe with enough light, enough of us will get so frustrated with the stupidity of dogma fighting; we'll just
surrender and say, "Ah, peace on it!" And with a little peace here and a little peace there, pretty soon all the peaces will
fit together. We may end up with one Big Peace everywhere, and both Nonjudgment Day and Disarmageddon will come to pass.
LEARN LEGGOS. If we want world peace, we
must let go of our attachments and truly live like nomads. That's where: I no mad at you, you no
mad at me. That way, there'll surely be nomad ness on the planet. Peace begins with each of us.
QUAKES. We all know that great earth changes have been predicted for the future,
so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple.
When you find a fault, just don't dwell on it.
PARENTINGS. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet
train the world, and we'll never have to change it again.
CREATIONS. The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That
is where I tell a vision to you, and you tell a vision to me. That way, if we don't like the programming we're getting,
we can change the channel!
DUALITY CONSCIOUSNESS. Life is like photography. You use
the negative to develop. And, no matter what adversity you face, remember and be reassured that, of course God loves you
but, right now, He's just not ready to make a commitment.
Key to the Universe
If you're looking to find the key to the Universe,
I have some bad news and some good news.
The bad news is, there is no key to the Universe.
The good news is, it has been left unlocked.
Key to Enlightenment
A sense of the ridiculous is a necessity for enlightenment, which is why the Buddha chuckles.
Enlightenment
is not a bureaucracy, so you don't have to go through channels. Finally, everything
I have told you is channeled. That way, if you don't like it,
it's
not my fault.
May the Farce be with you.
