Theron Aiken

20January2005

Here She Comes to Save the Day

            In this country, one needs a license to do almost anything: from driving a car to owning a dog. Society deems certain activities as important and endowed with a degree of responsibility; however, one important activity that requires no license, training or proof of competence is child bearing. Any couple, or female herself who wants to, can have a child, and that means millions of children are being raised by incompetent parents —parents who have no training or any plan for shaping their children into productive, respectful members of society: the result—chaos. But on the horizon comes help in the form of a television show called “Super Nanny.” The Super Nanny illustrates how good, sensible parenting can lead to a more harmonious, respectful and enjoyable family life.

            When Super Nanny came into a couple’s home in the first episode, she found three girls—one 5 ½ and 3 ½ year old twins—all out of control. The 5 ½ year old seemed to dominate everyone’s attention by screaming and crying to get her way—even for the most trivial things. The twins were learning quickly from their older sister and beginning to display the same aggressive and self-aggrandizing behavior. Super Nanny’s first comment was, “Who’s in charge here?” The girls’ mother was a “stay-at-home-mom” and the father traveled fairly extensively, so the bulk of the training of the young girls fell on the mother, hopefully to be reinforced by the father when he was around. Super Nanny saw no plan or method to the parenting—merely two parents floundering and trying to keep up with the three girls. After observing the family in action for a day—getting the girls dressed, a trip to the grocery store, meals and bedtime—Super Nanny began to train this dysfunctional family.

            The first problem that Super Nanny addressed was the lack of structure in the girls’ day. Even though the stay-at-home-mom had all day with the children, she had no activities planned for the day; instead, she simply responded to whatever the girls were doing, which was usually something counter-productive or destructive. Super Nanny got the girls involved in constructive activities such as arts and crafts projects and games which especially focused on sharing. This allowed the girls to focus their attention on their creativity rather than their destructiveness. She also emphasized a schedule which needed to be followed fairly closely. This way the girls knew that they didn’t control the schedule; the schedule controlled them. The schedule included play activities, trips in the car, meals and bedtimes. Super Nanny’s structure got the girls focusing on what was coming next rather than leaving them to their own devices to construct what was coming next. The structure was what first began to ameliorate the girls’ negative behavior.

            Of course, the girls didn’t immediately respond to the daily schedule, so some discipline had to be administered. Here, Super Nanny taught the mother the correct and most effective way to communicate with the girls to let them know that certain behaviors were unacceptable. When the mother would yell at the children, it was just a voice in the air which the girls could easily ignore. Super Nanny got down to the girls’ level and looked them right in the eyes when she spoke to them. This got their attention and demanded that they pay attention. She instructed the mother to use a lower and more forceful voice to emphasize the seriousness of what was being communicated. Also, the mother, at her wit’s end most of the time, displayed a frantic and helpless tone in her voice. Even children as young as these can recognize this as a sign of weakness and exploit it; however, Super Nanny taught the mother to stay calm and forceful when talking to the girls eye to eye. The line, “You’ve been very, very naughty,” has become an anthem for the show.

            Finally, Super Nanny taught the family that there has to be punishment for unacceptable behavior, and she introduced them to the “naughty chair.” Most people will recognize the naughty chair (sometimes called the “timeout chair”) as a form of grounding for older children. The girls, who were used to running rough-shod over the house, certainly didn’t want to stop what they were doing to sit on a stool by themselves for five minutes (an eternity to a young child). Super Nanny made sure that the girls sat in the naughty chair for the designated time (one minute for each year of age) until they realized that if they misbehaved, the naughty chair was inevitable. Furthermore, the girls could not leave the naughty chair until they apologized—not a sarcastic and spiteful “Sorry!”, but an “I’m sorry” in a tone that suggested sincerity. Once the girls knew that the naughty chair was a reality and that they would be held accountable for their behavior, their behavior began to improve dramatically. Super Nanny counseled the parents to not let up, to be consistent and to be firm in meting out discipline.

            Super Nanny is a television show that ought to be required viewing for parents whose children lack discipline and respect. She shows parents that with consistent structure and discipline these families can have a pleasant and harmonious family life and raise children who will be respectful and productive. America, Super Nanny is one her way to save the day.